JIM “PAPPY” MOORE: The Tipping Point

The Christmas Season is here. Giving is something we often take pride in. We know the joy of giving to others. When we were kids we mainly thought about what we were going to get. I do remember taking pride in being able to save up a little money and buy my parents something to show them my love and appreciation for them.

Now is a good time to talk about another kind of giving: the act of tipping those who serve us food. We gladly give others money or gifts as we see fit, but the act of tipping was hard for me in my early life. I resented the whole thing. Why couldn’t the business owner pay their staff a decent wage? Why did I have to plan on adding another 15% or 20% to my meal cost for the person who took my order and brought it to me? I begrudgingly gave the appropriate percentage as a tip.

Then when I was in my mid twenties I met a man who was the father of a friend of mine. I got to go out to eat with them on a number of occasions. What I observed about this highly successful man in his 50s was a guy who was always so kind and gracious to the waitstaff. He would call them by name, strike up a bit of conversation, make them feel important and appreciated. He was gracious and thankful beyond words.

When the check came he always tipped lavishly. Not in a grandiose way. Just in a way that would be reflected in the happy smiles of the waitstaff when they waited on him and his party. After that I modeled my manners dealing with waitstaff the way he had demonstrated. I did it willingly, happily, and found the joy in giving really good tips and being absolutely kind to those who waited on me and my table.

I learned that waitstaff pick up on these cues quickly. They know when they’re dealing with someone who is likely to be difficult, to be demeaning, to be stingy and punishing with their tip, or lack of it. They also know when someone is treating them like they have a name, and that in spite of their position of service, they like to be treated kindly, and with thanks, not condescension.

They are trying to make a living at a job that can be tough. They don’t make the food. But if it isn’t just right, they take the brunt of the dissatisfaction, and some customers may punish THEM for what the kitchen got wrong.

They serve. They bring more water. They check to see if there’s anything else you want. If you are kind to them, they’ll likely be kind to you.

Then comes time for bill and the tip. In today’s world, anything less than 20% is considered lacking. 25% is better. 30% is great. If you do the math, you will see that the difference in a 20% tip and a 30% tip is not much more for you. Let’s say the bill is $50. Twenty percent is $10, while thirty percent is $15. Only an extra $5 but it sure makes your waitstaff feel grand. Ask someone you know who works for tips. See what they say. You can increase your outgo by $5 while increasing their tip by 50%.

Now people getting tips are getting a break on taxes, too, so that is great for them. In this holiday season give the gift of gracious tipping. Do it for yourself, and find the joy that comes with being a good tipper. Daddy used to say in quoting the Bible “the Lord loves a cheerful giver.”

Merry Christmas.