JIM “PAPPY” MOORE: The Ego is the Last to Know

I am a dreamer. Most of my dreams are enjoyable, the ones that I can remember. Some have more impact than others. Lately I have had some shorter time periods of sleeping. Instead of sleeping soundly for four or five hours at night, I awaken ready to get up after only three hours sleep. Tonight is one of those nights.

I went to bed and fell fast asleep at 1130 pm. I awoke after a memorable dream at 230 am. That’s why I’m typing this at 2:50 am. It’s because of that dream.

I was living in a rural community. We had some type of upheaval in our little town and a discussion was had among the people. Someone was in charge. There was talk that we needed a night watch group, to be on the lookout for trouble. When they asked for volunteers I raised my hand, thinking I would be chosen. After a few minutes they announced those who would be taking that night shift. My name was not on it.

In the dream I felt consternation. Why wasn’t I chosen to be on the nightwatch? From somewhere in the back of mind, a voice called out: “It’s because you’re 75 years old!”

That’s what woke me up from that dream and got me in here typing. The Ego wants to keep us important, to others, and to ourselves. Even as we age and are capable of doing less, we do not see it perhaps as others do more clearly.

I think the hardest part of aging is coming to terms with the loss of things we have taken for granted for many decades. We are not as sharp as we once were. Our hearing and vision are not as crisp. Our own voice is not as authoritative as it has been for decades. Our children are in their thirties, forties or beyond. They are at the peak of their life arc. We are not. We are in the age of decline.

Somewhere in my mind that dream was created to give me this lesson and to talk about it to others. Part of the reason I can sleep three hours and get up is because I know I can sleep any time I want to sleep throughout the day. And I will. We do not have that luxury for most of adulthood. But in the over-the-hill years, we do have that luxury. I can go back to bed and sleep three more hours between daybreak and noon. I can get up and write at 3 am. I can knock out things on my to do list for this day early. I can be up two hours before my usual arising time of 5 am, and still getting things done.

I start my “to do” list every night before I go to bed. I wake up – whatever time it is – with my list of things to get done that day already underway. Now comes the time I start working on that list which includes: have a cup of coffee, watch the early news, take my meds, take my supplements, wake up fully, take my dose of fiber. You have to have reasons to get out of bed and to get things done. I say “get out of bed, get up, get things done, go out the door, engage the world, talk to others, create acquaintance-ships wherever you go. Walk. Eat. Engage. These all come with remaining active.

A dear friend very close to my age and I have a not-so-subtle term we use when communicating about people we have both known a long time. When one of us asks the other about someone from our shared past, the other may reply “they’re still in the ‘not dead yet’ file!”

When my mind talks to me in dreams, I listen.

Copyright 2025, Jim “Pappy” Moore. All rights reserved.