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JIM ‘PAPPY’ MOORE: Try That in a Small Town

By Jim “Pappy” Moore

Jason Aldean has created quite a stir with his new hit song Try That in a Small Town. It is amusing the extent to which people living in large cities find time to hate a tune which extols the virtues of small-town America. 

People who willingly live in large cities and submit freely to their many disgusting attributes project upon small town people the rather constant bigotry that one sees in big cities.

I spent over three decades living in two big cities in Texas: Houston and Austin. Each had its good points, but each degraded over the decades. It has been almost twenty years since I lived in either, and frankly, I do not care to spend any time in either city any more.  

The highways are insane. People routinely drive over 80 mph in 65 mph zones, and traffic safety is practically non-existent. Thousands upon thousands of people drive too fast and too carelessly, accentuated by that one of every hundred vehicles driven by someone who really should not be driving at all. There are crazy truckers, crazy bikers, and crazy automobile drivers. Whether this is due to their mental breakdowns, their lack of good manners, their taking too many or not enough drugs, their being drunk, their personal failures, or simply being jerks, the mania on the motorways is real. It’s hard to stay sane when insanity is the rule on the highways.  Drive like that in a small town and someone might use their big old pick up truck to bump you aside.

One of the true joys of living in a small town is the complete lack of anyone honking their horn at anyone else. Part of that is because we have fewer traffic lights, fewer traffic snarls, and fewer opportunities to get in a hissy fit over someone not taking off the first millisecond they have a chance to move forward. But part of it is that it simply isn’t neighborly. In a small town, you’re likely to run into people you know or sort of know just about everywhere. Do you really want to be rude to someone from the school or church? Do you want those folks you see at Little League baseball to see you being a jerk? Do you want those folks at the store to see you behave badly? Or the folks whose kids or grandkids go to gymnastics where your young’uns go? Politeness is expected, and it is the norm for many in the small town.

I’ll tell you something you will not see in a small town. You won’t see people sitting down in the street or highway to let you know they are mad about the use of oil. You won’t see people standing in traffic intersections and accosting drivers because they want to make some political statement, and they want you to put up with it. You definitely won’t see people walking into stores, openly stealing stuff, and walking out with it. 

Don’t let us catch you being mean to old people, or stealing from them, or making their lives miserable. We have a place called the Jail that can create a safe space for those who insist on committing crimes.

In big cities, safety is always a concern, no matter who you are, where you are, or what you’re doing. In the small town, safety is the norm. Just about everyone is packing, and that ought to keep you honest. If safety matters, the small town is where you can find it. When you live in the big city, you’d better be alert, aware, and ready to react, because there are criminals looking for you.

Copyright 2023, Jim “Pappy” Moore. All rights reserved.


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