Well, I declare. I hear you Europeans bleating and hollering about how unfair life is and you don’t have gas to keep warm if it gets cold in winter, which generally it does, and everything costs too much. Fact is, you deserve it. To be honest, which we journalists sometimes do, I think it’s amusing. It’s like watching a man beating his thumb with a hammer and saying, oh ouch, oh ouch, it hurts, oh ouch, it hurts and can’t figure out why. It’s because Europeans are so easily led, managed, dominated by the fetid Yankee Rome in Washington, which regards you as trained seals. I’ve known fire plugs, even toaster ovens, more intelligent than you are.
BY FRED REED* (posing with a European)