Why are men bad gift givers? I know it is wrong to clump all men together, but it seems like most men are indeed bad at buying gifts. It is actually a cliche that is used in many television sitcoms. A man will buy his wife a horrible present and the rest of the show is about him making it up to his wife.
I like picking at my husband; he is an easy target. One Valentine’s Day, he got me a hand held Nintendo thingy-a-mig. I don’t know it’s real name but that is what I call it. He also got me a rose. Upon closer inspection, the rose petals unfolded and it was a pair of scratchy underwear. I swear he got it from a gas station but he swears he didn’t.
I guess I shouldn’t complain because I know some men who don’t give gifts at all. My husband showers me with gifts, but most of the time they just aren’t what I desire. I finally set him down after the purse incident (I’ll go over that later), and told him he had to be a little bit more thoughtful when giving gifts.
Because me and my husband are so close, I usually know when he is going to buy me my present and usually it is the day before the event. Bless him. Men, when you are going to buy your wife a present for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, birthday, or anniversary, if you are buying it the day before, you are already off to a bad start. There is one exception to this rule, diamonds. You can buy diamonds for us 10 minutes before you give it to us and we will be happy.
A good gift giver starts planning at least a month in advance. Ladies, you should also start dropping hints about 30 days out. Men, it is okay to ask for help. Call their mother, ask their best friend or sister. Notice I said sister, if she only has a brother, skip him; he is probably as clueless as you are. Another good tip is don’t buy the first thing you see; keep looking. You should have at least three or four gift ideas before you decided on your final purchase. Lastly, it is not about price. Just because it costs a lot of money, doesn’t mean it is better. Also, I should point out it is not about quantity either. My husband had a bad habit of buying a bunch of little things and putting them in a basket. One year I think my basket had a coffee cup, candle, a nightshirt, candy, a gift card and a dozen pair of white socks. Coincidentally, that was the year I told him no more gift baskets.
I consider myself a good gift giver. My husband likes wrestling. I know nothing about it; however, I found a wrestling website weeks in advance and ordered him a belt buckle. It was a miniature size of the championship belts the WWE wrestlers wear. He loved it. He had never seen one like it before. He still gets compliments to this day. I personally think it is kind of weird but he likes it.
So, lets talk about the purse incident. One year my husband bought me a purse. I don’t want to say it was ugly so I will describe it. It was pink plastic with an orange M on it. As I began opening it, I could tell he was very proud of his purchase. As I pulled it out of the box, I think the first words out of my mouth were, “Can I return it?” I regret that. It really hurt his feelings. For a while after that he was just like make a list of things you want. That became boring. I always knew exactly what I was getting.
This year for my birthday, my husband didn’t get me anything. We had talked about my birthday a few days before and I told him I wanted to go fishing for my birthday. I guess that was my mistake because the night before my birthday he said I am going to get you breakfast in bed tomorrow morning since I didn’t get you anything. I was quick to reply, what do you mean you didn’t get me anything, not even a card?
“You said you wanted to go fishing,” was my husband’s reply. “I thought that was your present.”
Men, if she tells you she wants to go to dinner, fishing, a movie, or a picnic for her birthday, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to buy her a present. It means she is helping you plan the day for her. Also, while we are at it, if she tells you she doesn’t want anything, still get her something. It’s a cruel trick women play. I don’t know why we do it but we do, get used to it.
My dear husband did redeem himself. While I was at work, he made me a birthday video with my two kids and posted it to Facebook. It was cheesy, sweet, last minute, and done in desperation for redemption. I loved it.
I think I may start dropping hints for Christmas next week just to be on the safe side. If your husband is a bad gift giver, you may want to do the same and show him this column. Actually, you may want to make him read this column and give him a pop quiz afterwards.
© 2014, MaLu Bradford Beyonce, All Rights Reserved.
You may reach MaLu Bradford Beyonce at firstname.lastname@example.org