Asia, Europe and the Middle Eastern countries have seen rising trends of divorce in the last decade. Over the past decade, the United Arab Emirates has recorded the highest divorce rate in the region relative to its population and marriage rates. In Hong Kong, the number of single parents has risen 30% in the last 10 years.
In the US, according to the Center for Disease Control, the marriage rate per 1000 in population is currently at 6.8, whereas the divorce rate per 1000 in population is 3.4.
It is commonly stated that in the US, half of the marriages are ending in divorces.
In recent years, the divorce rate among baby boomers has nearly doubled, according to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University. This trend has even earned its own name: grey divorce, which describes divorcing later in life.
If these trends continue, it is likely that marriages which last would become a rarity than marriages which break up.
Three times number one bestselling author and marriage expert Hellen Chen is a matchmaker extraordinaire who frequently worked with men and women who have given up on relationships because of past failures.
In her recent love seminar in Los Angeles, Chen spoke about divorces, "If a relationship is not going well, there is nothing wrong to end it and move on. But most people who end their relationships often do not know what's really wrong in the first place. They left the marriage with a cloud of confusion. Worse, they bring this confusion to the next marriage!"
Chen is lovingly called “the Matchmaker of the Century” by the people she has helped because of her tenacity of not giving up, and working with men and women of all backgrounds and ages until they find the right partner. What made her even more special is that she does not stop at the matchmaking part but continues to help couples to make their relationships last.
One of her bestselling books “Hellen Chen's Love Seminar” touches upon why the dating game of modern times is a partial contributor to divorces.
"Most singles date for a few years, break up, and then get into dating again for another few years, then break up, and on and on it goes." said Chen, "They feel they can always 'meet someone better' and yet have no idea how to make a relationship last."
"Worse, they bring the standards of their previous relationships into the next relationship and even to their marriages. And they expect the new guy or gal to fit some prior standards. This is not only unfair but it sets the stage for a blowup of the marriage." Said Chen.
Being married for more than 20 years herself, Chen said that contrary to beliefs, making a marriage last is not about compromising or forgiving another’s shortcomings or being submissive. One could truly still have one’s own space while letting one’s partner have his or her own space.
How about the common “must-have’s” when looking for a marital partner? For example, looks and money have been at the top of many singles’ lists of criteria. Chemistry is another major one though it is no guarantee that the chemistry would last all the way till the very end.
Chen chimed in on this phenomenon of having to have absolutely the right person that could fit self.
“Dating websites are filled with match seekers listing out their criteria for their Mr. or Miss Right. But if those criteria are so important, why is the divorce rate not going down? Why does the older generation, who does not have access to listings and criteria, do better in making their marriage last?” Chen asked.
“If one does not know his or her role in a relationship, and does not even know what a man wants, and what a woman wants, one will have a hard time to have the love relationship one is wishing for." said Chen.
Chen’s insights on relationships have been quoted on over 200 media publications and radio and TV interviews, in 20 countries, including United States.
She has conducted thousands of lectures which also include love workshops to help singles start their relationship right and also help couples to learn how to love deeper, and also how to salvage relationships before heading to the divorce courts. Her next Love workshops will be held in Los Angeles on September 6 and also in Dubai on September 26th and 27th. ( Details on http://MatchmakerOfTheCentury.com )
Chen's works in family, marriage and personal developments are featured in over 200 media publications in 20 countries. She is a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC etc