Mother's Day is this weekend. This will be my first Mother's Day since my mother passed away a few months ago. Her passing was expected. She was eighty-five and by her own testimony, she had a wonderful and fulfilling, love-filled life. She was prepared to go and joyous even in her decline. Her conduct and attitude inspired.
I was not sure how I would feel as Mother's Day approached, but I continue to be good with her passing. I remember her fondly, but she lived her life as she wanted, she embraced her beliefs completely, and had a definite belief in the hereafter.
As I observe the run up to Mother's Day - without a mother this time - I am drawn to the advertising which surrounds it. Jewelry is one of the biggest advertisers. The commercials equate willingness to buy jewelry for a woman with showing her the love and respect she should have for being a mother.
A gift such as jewelry can become dear to a woman, particularly if it has a history in her family. I know a woman whose mother died about ten years ago. The daughter always wears her mother's earrings, which are simple and elegant. They add to anything she might wear, without distracting or taking away. They are a comfort to a woman who remembers with love her mother.
If you loved your mother, you know that it is her love for you and yours for her which binds you. It cannot be an object, however beautiful or wonderful the object may be. As with the earrings my friend wears, it is the love for her mother which makes the object special, not the object that is special for its value.
It has been said the best gift is the gift of oneself. I believe most mothers want this very thing for their Mother's Day. If you are a dad, make some special time for you and your children's mother today. Make sure the kids have some special time with her. Take over her regular duties so that she has the day off. Make it her day, about her. When in doubt, ask her what she wants to do. Ladies, if necessary, read this paragraph to your husband.
Husbands, no gift will make up for your behavior which comes up short on Mother's Day. She expects her children to be aware and to be ready to honor her. As their dad, you have a duty to make sure they know about the day honoring mommy and make sure they're in on it. She expects you to make it her day.
I am not urging people to ignore the importance of gifts, flowers, jewelry and cards. All of those are fine parts of a Mother's Day celebration. But at its core, if mom is not truly honored, the point is missed. I honor my mother with my love and respect for her. I honor my sisters, my nieces, my daughter in law, and all the dedicated mothers out there for all they do, on this Mother's Day.
© 2014, Jim “Pappy” Moore,
All Rights Reserved.