Dear Spotter: Big deal. My neighbor has an animal with two long horns. He calls it a goat.
Dear Crabbie: Kmart is introducing a rent-to-own program for big ticket items. Would you take advantage of their offer? – Bargain Babe
Dear BB: Only if it extends to potential husbands.
Dear Crabbie: Apparently, Miley Cyrus smoked pot on stage at a recent music awards ceremony because she thought it would be very funny. Is she classy, or what? – Astonished
Dear Astonished: Where’s a sinkhole when you need one.
Dear Crabbie: According to a recent interview on NBC, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi claimed Democrats are not losing confidence in the president’s ability to make the Affordable Care Act work. Would you agree? – Wishful
Dear Wishful: Sounds like a load of Pelosi to me.
Dear Crabbie: In computer terms, the memory capacity of the human brain is estimated at about 2 petabytes, although I think mine is much less. How does your brain’s memory compare? – Retention Challenged
Dear RC: My memory works fine, as long as I have access to Google.
Dear Crabbie: Looks like famed TV pitchman Kevin Trudeau if off to jail after being found guilty of criminal contempt for exaggerating the contents of his weight-loss book in infomercials. What should he do next? – Foul Pitcher
Dear FP: Change his web site from KevinTrudeau.com to KevinTrudeau.con