Why some good women (and men) end up breaking another's marriage?
(Bestselling author and marriage guru Hellen Chen helping another couple to tie the knot.)
According to a study conducted in Washington University, between 1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful wives under 30 increased by 20% and husbands by a whopping 45%.
From a report released this year from the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy (Associated Press), the percent of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional is 41%.
The "mistress" who comes in between a married man and his wife or the male lover who seduces a married woman has been the subject of huge disdain in marriage discussions.
However, no matter the criticism, it does not answer the question of why the trend of infidelity has increased.
Some experts have cited easy access through the internet to meet new people, while other experts related the increase to the rising trend of women joining the workforce.
Bestselling author and relationship guru Hellen Chen, who has written 22 books on love and marriage, and who have helped salvaged many troubled marriages, shared, "This trend of increased infidelity over the last 15 years is co-incidental with the decrease of marriages especially among those below 30s."
In 1950, the median age of first marriage used to be 20 for women. Last year's report from the Census Bureau revealed the current median marriage age for women is 27.
In a recent TV interview in Los Angeles, Chen shared what could happen if a man or woman who has aspired to have a lasting relationship does not end up getting married, "There is a chance they end up being the 3rd person in someone else's relationship."
Josefina was a university graduate of a top law school. She has yearned for a loving relationship but disappointments in her dating experiences have led her to believe there is simply no such thing as lasting love.
She then got into affair with a married man and the affair lasted many years. It gradually destroyed her career.
Chen met her and counseled her to get out of the mess and restored her original goal of wanting a sound family. Later Chen played matchmaker and found Josefina a husband. They got married shortly after.
"It was a big trap for me. I had no self-esteem. I felt getting into an affair was the only way to get a man to love me." said Josefina, "Now being happily married, I am relieved that those dark days are over."
"There are many fine men and women who need not become the 3rd person in another's marriage." Chen said, "But the increased dating time instead of making a commitment for marriage has magnified the negative experiences -- until one has to settle for being involved in an extramarital affair."
Chen wrote in her latest book "Hellen Chen's Love Seminar" which shares the vital but often missing love lessons for singles and couples: “Marriage is the most reliable home for love, and is also the most beautiful stage for love.”
The book, cited as 'the missing manual that makes relationship last' will be released on BarnesAndNoble.com on Oct 30th. The first 1000 readers will be able to receive bonus materials from Chen's site: http://MatchmakerOfTheCentury.com
Chen's works in family, marriage and personal developments are featured in over 200 media publications in 18countries. She has been a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC etc.