How are your manners? I think my manners hold me back. I constantly find myself in situations where I don’t know how to carry myself. Should I mention my displeasure or not? Should I send the food back or suffer through the meal? I found myself in another situation this week where I didn’t know whether or not to complain.
My husband was much more decisive about the issue. Call the office and complain, he said.
I did. I began to sweat as the phone started to ring. I asked for the employee’s supervisor and told my story of dissatisfaction. The supervisor then put the regional manager on the phone. I started the conversation with I am very uncomfortable.
After the call, I talked to my husband about it and went over it with him. I started questioning everything all over again. Why are you questioning yourself when you already called, he said. Another family friend told me I had no reason to feel uncomfortable about complaining and I had done the right thing. Yet I can’t get it off my mind.
This reminded me of an experiment I saw on television once. They served lemonade to children that was made with salt instead of sugar to children. Consistently the girls always were polite and said the lemonade was good or would say they would like a little more sugar in it. The boys consistently would said yuck or express how bad it was.
There were other experiments that consistently showed girls were more polite and boys were blunt. Scientist have tried to prove that it is not biological but due to socialization. In other words, it’s the parents fault.
I don’t really care whose fault it is. All I care about is how do I change it. I hate spending hours thinking about what I should have said or how another person would have said it. My problem is in the heat of the moment, I feel it is better for me not to say anything because if I expressed the way I felt at that moment, it would come out way more harsh than I would like.
I think living in a small community plays a big part in my dilemma. If I was in New York, I don’t think I would have any problem telling someone that I would most likely never see again that they were rude. However, in a small town, you will see this person most likely over and over again on a weekly basis.
I know I will continue to see the person I made the complaint about. I know that I should not feel guilty about it because I was not at fault. I do feel guilty. If I had expressed my dissatisfaction from the beginning instead of having good manners, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
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