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'Must see TV' you probably won't see

By NATHAN TABOR
REALITY SHOWS are taking over the airwaves. They're cheap to make — no huge salaries for actors, writers, producers and distributors. They can be made in countries that don't have big unions dictating the salaries of technical people. And some — a very few — are actually entertaining.

Too many of them, especially on the cable channels are filled with sex, drinking and drugs like MTV's real world. Lesbian and gay romance are featured in several shows aired on Bravo. In "Reality TV" you have women wanting to be models, men wanting to be women, women wanting to be men and no-talents wanting to be stars.

Some of the shows have created controversy, but in the world of entertainment nothing sells better than controversy. It's welcomed by the Hollywood crowd because it allows them to indulge in the illusion that they are brave, creative intellectuals who are always looking to push the envelope while being attacked by the neo-Nazi Philistines of the Christian Right.

The truth is, these are pseudo-intellectual immature beings who enjoy taking cheapshots at the things most Americans who live in the so-called "fly over states" hold dear — God, country and family. What a bunch of geniuses. They have the ardent task of producing shows designed to be understood by an 8-year old.

IT'S THE same mentality that puts a crucifix in a vat of urine or covers a picture of the Madonna with excrement and calls it art. It's not about bravery, because these folks are far from brave. It's about taking cheap shots. It's about being "in your face."

If these creative poseurs really want to tear down the perceived barriers to their creative freedom, perhaps I have a few ideas for some groundbreaking television. Here are a couple of show ideas to get the ball rolling:

“The Punisher.” One of the top reality shows is Fox's America's Most Wanted. Besides being entertaining and informative, it's a show that's a definite public service. But what happens to the skells once they are captured and prosecuted? Enter Nathan Tabor's reality show “The Punisher.” If and when a criminal is found guilty, rather than a judge giving the routine prison sentence, we get creative with the criminal's punishment.

Our men and women fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan face death and danger every moment of their lives. And on top of that, they face their tribulations physically hauling over 100 pounds of equipment.

So why not have a bunch of criminals who've committed heinous crimes loaded up with a 100 pounds of equipment and made to walk in the Arizona desert for 12 hours each day. For the bleeding-heart liberals, we'll allow these murders and rapists to drink all the water they wish, but they have to carry the water in addition to the 100-pound load they're already carrying.

To make things interesting we'll have them face their own dangers — rattlesnakes, scorpions, and other denizens of the desert.

For dramatic content, we'll get to know some of the criminals and get a glimpse of their romantic dalliances -- within limits, of course. A sort of "manly love in the desert."

In my reality series, the people who will garner the highest salaries are the ones who must spend their day with these lowlifes and make sure they don't kill each other.

Ironically, the biggest problem won't be criminals stealing from one another. It will be criminals trying to unload some of their 100 pounds of junk on other criminals.

For some down-and-out dramatic reality TV, perhaps one of the networks or cable channels will consider a spin-off in which criminals get their just deserts on camera. Sort of like "crime and punishment TV." I can see it now on Spike TV: "Eye for an Eye."

Now that would be must see TV.

Nathan Tabor is a conservative political activist based in Kernersville, N.C., where he owns a successful small business and was recently a candidate for Congress. He has his Master’s Degree in Public Policy from the Robertson School of Government at Regent University.

Nathan@nathantabor.com