How will your 2013 Valentine’s Day be remembered? Good, bad, or, worse yet – indifferent!?
Fear not – there is a way of attaining the best outcome this Feb. 14, which is just around the corner.
Sadly, there are too many women – both single and attached – that feel especially lonely during this time of year. If you’re responsible for the romance in a woman’s life, you want to treat her right. Roses, a candle-lit dinner with atmospheric music and perhaps a post-dinner drive along Beach Avenue are sufficient details to cover the norm. These basics show your special lady that you are at least trying … But how does one go about WOWing her?
No matter what she might say, dressing down the holiday, like staying home and ordering your sweet heart’s favorite topping for takeout pizza, simply will not do.
While many men will not grasp the seemingly arbitrary importance of a typically frigid mid-February evening, the important thing to remember is you don’t have to. It’s not about you; it’s about her, and this is the only idea you need to keep in mind.
As a relationship expert and chef with two published books on relationships and one on recipes, I recommend creating a lasting memory with new and novel ideas. The brain’s feel-good “love” chemical – oxytocine – usually increases when women are presented with novel activities, beyond those established and preferred routines, according to recent studies.
Abandon old traditions and do something to sweep her off her feet with these five steps:
1. Before the big day, drive her wild with anticipation by telling her that you have the most amazing surprise for her. This promise will keep her guessing and make her think about your evening.
2. Know her favorite flowers. If you don’t, don’t panic. You can find out by making a comment, like “I’ve noticed plants blooming early this year …” and steer the conversation from there. In a beautiful vase, arrange an exotic bouquet and hide it somewhere in your home on the special day. She’ll like that you created the presentation.
3. Go to your local chocolate shop and select her favorite kinds of chocolate. Have it boxed and nicely wrapped to prevent her from knowing what it is when you present the chocolates to her.
4. Create a dish and name it after her. For example, if her name is Anne, you might call the dish “Tournedos Princess Anne.” This step is the most important. I can assure you that after having spent time in some top-notch restaurants, food that is named after a person is a special honor. We all know how women love it when their men do the cooking. What I do is cut and precook the vegetables, and I even make the sauce beforehand to make sure I get it as perfect as I can. Leave everything in the fridge. Then, on Valentine’s Day, I set the table before I start the cooking part. On both plates, place a fresh RED ROSE. The single rose is just part of making her think that that is all the flowers she will be getting (but we know differently). When she gets home, make sure to get her to promise you that she’ll stay out of the kitchen. Tell her not to spoil the surprise!
5. When everything is ready, plate the food, cover it and take it to the dining table, and then ask her to come and sit. Before you uncover the lid, have her close her eyes. Retrieve the hidden bouquet, place the flowers on the table, and ask her to open her eyes. Pay attention to how she responds. Tell her what you’ve named the dish.
But that’s not all – after the meal, take her by the hand, walk her to the living room and sit her down. Bring out the boxed chocolate, go on one knee and tell her, “This is for you,” or, “You make me feel whole,” or, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world and I love you.”
Overkill? – Not at all. Remember, you don’t have to know why this works, but only that it does work.
About Ernest Quansah
Ernest Quansah (www.relationshipadviceforsuccess.com) is a love relationship success expert with more than a decade of experience. He is the president of Relationship Advice for Success, and founder of Online Dating, Relationship, and Marriage School (ODRMS). After much research and experience with heartache – divorce, breakups and the devastating consequences – he has discovered the keys to finding and maintaining meaningful, long-lasting romantic relationships. He is also the author of Do’s and Don’ts of Relationships: Nine Steps to a Deeper, Richer Love Relationship, 2nd edition.