MORE AND MORE, children are having children, and both suffer from it. If you want to see the train wreck that is teen motherhood, look at the MTV series Teen Mom, which was spun off from their excellent 16 and Pregnant series.

The MTV series about teen moms began as a show about girls who were 16 and pregnant. In a particular group of four girls, one decided to give her child up for adoption, while the other three chose to have and keep theirs. The stories tell a familiar tale that any of us could have anticipated. Girls who are completely unprepared for adulthood, much less parenthood, struggle to provide the minimum care a baby should have. They do so often with weak support from the father of the baby, who is a boy, of course.

Simply put, teen boys in our era are not prepared to be fathers, and teen girls are not prepared to be mothers. They may have been a half century ago or a century ago, but teens today are nowhere close to the level of independence and self-sufficiency required for one to be a decent parent. A child cannot adequately rear a baby.

The show Teen Mom revealed three teen age girls who kept their child, but cannot care for it. They cannot provide for their child, economically or emotionally. They are completely dependent upon their parents and government assistance. The sad truth is that often such babies would be better off if the parents of the mother had legal custody of the baby. The baby’s grandparents often care for the child while mom is out clubbing, or otherwise looking not for “Mr. Right,” but for another “Mr. Right Now.”

The teen fathers on the show are a pathetic bunch. Only one of the group was the least bit responsible. He and his girlfriend gave up their child to adoption. His father is an alcoholic ex-con, but the boy seems intent on avoiding the mistakes his father has made. Another teen father in the show was completely worthless. He’s a boy of privilege, whose family is very comfortable. It’s clear he’s never met any responsibility in his life, and fatherhood has not changed that. When boys have children, they often become less mature, not more.

A THIRD father hinged his involvement with his daughter on having a relationship with the child’s mother. That’s very wrong. His duty to his daughter exists no matter what his relationship is with the child’s mother. Any man who deprives his child of time or money because he can’t have a relationship with the child’s mother is doing wrong. The duty is to the child. The relationship is with the child. Man up and get it done.

The fourth father of the fourth baby in the show was not in the picture at all. We don’t know him, but we know the mother. She lived with her parents in a very comfortable house, and was clearly a spoiled brat who has never had to meet responsibilities. In spite of her mother, father and sister all encouraging her to spend more time with her child, she flits from boy to boy, none of whom want to get serious with a teen mother. Even those boys know she’s not meeting her responsibilities and question her about it.

The fault is partly the fathers, who don’t come through. But as the show makes clear, it’s also the fault of the young mothers, who treat their baby as if it is their property, instead of equally the responsibility of the father and the mother. These young mothers often want to make the access of the father to the child contingent upon the father’s relationship with them.

I applaud MTV for running the shows 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. These two ground-breaking shows have shown the reality of being a young mother in America today. It’s a disaster for everyone involved. Not surprisingly, most of these girls have either no relationship with a father, or a bad relationship. Bad parenting often is passed from one generation to the next.

I don’t know what the solution is, but presuming that 16- year-old boys and girls who can’t even care for themselves can take of a baby is proving to be a catastrophic mistake.

© 2010, Jim “Pappy” Moore, All Rights Reserved.

Jim “Pappy” Moore is a native son of East Texas who still makes the piney woods his home. oaktreefm58@hotmail.com