My anniversary was last week. I forgot all about it. I would like to blame forgetting on pregnancy brain but I forgot it last year also. My husband also forgot the past two years. What does this say about my marriage?
“We forgot our anniversary,” I said last year. “It was two weeks ago.”
My husband just stood there in shock wondering if I was going to be mad at him forgetting also. I wasn’t. This year, my husband came to me around noon and said, “I just wanted to say happy anniversary, even though I just remembered.”
I wish I had been smart enough to play it off and act like I knew it was our anniversary. If I had, I could have used it as leverage toward the naming of the new baby. I joke with my friends all the time that I hope he messes up big time so I get to choose the baby’s name. Him forgetting our anniversary two years in a row, would have been perfect for my master plan. However, I just stood there bewildered that we forgot, again.
It was our seven year anniversary which is supposed be copper, wool or a desk set. I don’t know who came up with these gift giving rules, but it is tradition. I think about Mariah Carey and her husband, Nick Cannon. Every year they renew their vows in a very elaborate way. I wonder what that says about their marriage.
My husband said he was going to make it up to me and I told him there was no need. I wonder how many more important dates we are going to forget. I hope I never forget my children’s birthdays. I can just imagine how that could scar them. It makes me think about the movie, “Sixteen Candles,” where the parents forgot their daughter’s birthday.
I’m not worried about my marriage, it is strong. I do worry that our lives are so hectic we can’t remember important dates. I would like to think that my husband forgetting is one of those typical men actions. Men forget anniversaries all the time right? The wife forgetting, that must be rare. Especially since it was two years in a row.
I expressed my concerns with my husband. I said we could have planned something even if it was something small. We could have had at least had a nice dinner.
“We could have even watched a movie,” I said. “Even if we just rented one and watched it here at the house. Surely, I our lives can’t be so hectic we can’t find time do something for one another?”
It made me sad to think how little we do for other. I spent the rest of day thinking about it. I poke a lot of fun at my husband but he is great. He helps me with my 91-year-old mother. He has taken on the role of the primary caregiver of my son since I have been on bed rest. His father recently got sick and I insisted he leave and go visit his family. He didn’t want to leave me alone since I was eight and half months pregnant, however, I insisted. Then I realized we do a lot for each other, just not in the traditional way.
So if your loved one happens to forget your anniversary or another important date, you might want to cut them a little slack. It’s not about the one day, it is about all the days. Unless you are look for leverage in naming a baby, I suggest you just let it slide.
© 2014, MaLu Bradford Beyonce, All Rights Reserved.
You may reach MaLu Bradford Beyonce at firstname.lastname@example.org.