Dear PC: The team should be more embarrassed about having Washington in their name.
Dear Crabbie: Our eleven year old dog, Bruce, has not moved for three days. We love Bruce and want to know if he’s okay. What should we do? – Mr. & Mrs. Bright
Dear Not-so-Bright family: Place a mirror near Bruce’s nose. It will fog if Bruce is in the land of the living. I used this method on my late husband, a deep sleeper, for many years – mirror in one hand, life insurance policy in the other.
Dear Crabbie: I see disgraced ex-NY Congressman Anthony Weiner talked about his sexting exploits in a recent GQ magazine article. But do you think it’s fair to compare him with other politicians and presidents who strayed in their marriage? – Weiner Watcher
Dear WW: Of course not. At least Kennedy and Clinton had the decency to cheat on their wives with real women.
Dear Crabbie: I read that Iran plans to send a monkey into space soon, but there is apprehension by other nations that the Iranian government will use the launch to develop warfare technology. Should I be concerned? – Restless at Night
Dear Restless: No. The US tried this in the 1950s. But no matter how many banana peels their cosmic chimps tossed out the spaceship onto major Russian cities, it caused no signification disruption.
Dear Crabbie: I was interested in this year’s physics Nobel Prize, announced in early October. The winners had proposed a theory which was recently proven with that new Large Hadron Collider machine. Isn’t that the instrument which, if it fails, could create a black hole in our society leading to universal disaster and the end of life as we know it? – Edgy Ed
Dear Edgy: No, you’re thinking of Obamacare.